two faces of trauma processing

We have been taught our whole lives to hurt because of disapproval. We are taught disapproval comes because we are not good enough. We have done something wrong.

What if…we turn that around?

Disapproval comes from those who disagree with our methods of handling life.

What if…

Their disapproval is not important. We want them to care about who we are, but they are deep in their own pain and not understanding or aware of process. They have fallen into the role that gets them by. Controller. Their way is the only way to them. Their healing is pending.

What if…

We are triggered into hurt feelings, anger, low self-esteem and interference with our forward movement on our own healing and creative path. There is a story in our heads that we must learn to observe and change for our good.

We are conditioned to accept other people’s definitions of who we are. We need to trust our perceptions and step back to observe the dynamics at play when angst enters our mind and body. What patterns are at play? Old roles? Are the dynamics serving us or repeating our fall into past beliefs of failure.

After observing our role in the dynamics, we need to observe the dynamics of the person in front of us. Notice their heart and soul. First have compassion for ourselves. Do we need to move from their presence temporarily or permanently? Second, do we feel the need to dedicate ourselves to helping them, becoming at their service?

Third and this is most important, Are we ready to stand firm for them, saying I am here for you and I will listen? Let them know they have what it takes to pull themselves up and out. Listen.  Listen to what they have to say. Their reaction will be an opening up, maybe tentative at first, or pure anger, because they are not ready to heal. Act accordingly from there. That may mean separation is necessary.

Have compassion for their heart and soul, but most of all know that we have so much to give this world. Have compassion for ourselves. Help ourselves first. And know that everything we do touches souls all around us. Our presence may only be a blip on their path and we may never know the full impact we have on others, but know that we have value.

We must trust our perceptions of ourselves and grow our dreams to full potential.

As time goes on resources will be added to this website. Assets that can be chosen to fit the moment of motivation and creative tools that heal.

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